Monday, October 7, 2013

My "Host" Family

Hey!  Sorry for the huge gap between posts; I haven't had a ton of free time, with Oktoberfest and then Paris on back to back weekends (and then in-between some scarlet fever and doctor's visits to keep things interesting...).  I actually have a lot to say and report on, but my tendency to write out everything by hand before posting kind of slows down the process.  So first will be just this general post, then another rather general one, then Oktoberfest, and lastly, Paris.  Like I said, everything except for Paris was written at least a week ago; I just haven't yet taken the time to update here.  But, here we are:

I truly despise the term "host" family; it makes me feel like a parasite, and it feels too formal for a situation in which you're supposed to become a part of the family.  Anyway, everyone keeps asking for more details on what the family is like, and rather than say the same many times, I'm just going to address it here.  Now, keep in mind that I've only known them for two full weeks, so this description is just past a first impression, relatively speaking.

The mom, Nicole, is one of the kindest human beings who I have ever had the privilege of meeting.  She's extremely open, dedicated to her kids, and always willing to help me in anyway with the transition from the states to Germany and her family.  I really feel included as a member of the family rather than just a nanny/chauffeur.  She's also really very tolerant about things that I am admittedly terrible at (AKA...not getting lost and ironing).  Nicole is also one of the hardest-working people I have ever met; she works for two companies, and has her own business AND is working on starting another.  If I ever feel over-scheduled again in my life, I just need to remember what her planner looks like and I will stop feeling sorry for myself.

The oldest child, Caro, is fifteen.  She is the one who I was initially most worried about bonding with.  I assumed that, since she is older, and this family has had a lot of au pairs, that she would be sick of having a full-time babysitter, or rebellious or just not keen on me being there in general.  So naturally, me being me, I basically asked her that straight away, and was pleasantly surprised to find that I was completely wrong.  Caro said she sees how much easier having another adult makes life for Nicole, and also says that it's good for Maja.  Also, she apparently likes practicing her English, and since I like to talk, it's not a problem for me either.  Caro is also super open, and funny, and our mutual love of animals (and boys...) creates a solid foundation and a lot of talking points.

Tim, the middle child and only boy, is thirteen.  I know him the least, as he is the quietest of the bunch (at least around me), but I have absolutely nothing bad to say about him.  He is a very sweet boy, a good older brother to Maja, and not difficult in the slightest.  I'm still working on connecting more with him (without crossing over into being TOO obnoxious and terrifying him) and as the weeks go on I feel better about it.  He tolerates my awkward attempts at conversation, and my interrogation on life as a German teenager (does everyone wear their hair like that?  That jacked is weird, right?).  He also loves Skyfall and James Bond, so we at least have that going for us, and he promised to watch Lord of the Rings with me at some point.  Obviously, there will be no major issues.

And then there's Maja, the baby of the family.  She just turned eight, and is hilarious.  I already adore her, but that's nothing unusual; I'm fairly certain it's impossible to NOT fall in love with this child.  Aside from driving, spending time with her is the biggest part of my day.  Which still really isn't even that much; Maja has a lot of friends and spends most of her time with them, either at this house or theirs.  I'm mostly us the the homework enforcer, and part-time Monopoly and Mamma Mia buddy.  From stories I've heard from family members, Maja is almost a carbon copy of how I was at her age; obsessed with animals, feisty, and just so much fun (not to toot my own horn or anything...).  She has me roped into some game where we alternate meowing and patting each other's head.  I'm pretty sure she made it up (her English always seems to disappear when I ask that...), and I'm not sure if I should be encouraging it but it keeps her occupied in between board games.

And, with me being me, this description of the family would not be complete without a mention of Lina, the resident canine.  She's a very cute, three-year-old Spaniel mix that they rescued from Spain.  She's great with the kids, obedient when it suits her, and a good walking buddy (it looks a lot less weird when I wander aimlessly around town with a dog rather than alone).  If anything, she's probably too cute because people always want to pet her and start asking me questions in German (I just smile and laugh and then start moving again).  LIna was actually a nice bonus for choosing this family; my heart is still a little broken to leave my beautiful Jazz behind (again! I am a terrible dog mother), so it's nice that there is still a dog here to ease me through withdrawal.

Anyway, as you can see, I've landed myself in quite a nice situation so far as the family is concerned.  I read about all the potential pitfalls before coming here, and I've heard about some firsthand since being here (one woman refuses to talk to her au pair...she just texts her what she wants her to do), and experienced none of those.  Part of that may be because I'm the 13th au pair for the family (Nicole gave me a handbook...), so everything runs like a well-oiled machine, but I also think it's also because they're a tight family, and having an au pair doesn't mean that Nicole has any less to do with the kids.  They respect me because they respect her and I think in a lot of other situations that I have heard of, where the kids either refuse to listen at all or blow off the au pair constantly, it's because the parents are absent and the au pair isn't really equipped to be the disciplinarian.  I would hate to be in one of those houses.  The transition was rough enough when my family was amazing so I can only imagine how it was for people who weren't being helped through it all.

And once again, I'm terrible with photos.  Will update this with pictures of everyone when I can!

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